Mary and the Tiger
It was market day and Mary's two sisters wanted their usual gifts. They demanded their mother go and buy them all the things they wanted, however, Mary knew that her mother was still sick. She worried that her mother wouldn't be able to withstand the long trip to the market, let alone carry the many items all the way back on her own."Please mother," she begged, "let me come with you or better yet, stay here and rest and I will go alone."
Her mother protested but as she struggled to get out of bed she fell back coughing. "Go my child and be safe."
Mary left quickly and as she left one of her sister's called out, "and remember, don't come back without the roses, I want three of them!"
Mary hurried to the market and spent all days searching for everything on the long list her sisters had given her. When the last of the purchases was complete, she began the journey back, however, it was dark and foggy and she lost her way. She saw a light in the distance and hurried toward it, hoping to find someone to point her in the right direction. As she neared she saw a few large rose bushes and remembering what her sister had demanded she hurried over to it, in order to collect three of them.
As she was looking for the prettiest blooms she suddenly remembered the light she had seen earlier and as she looked up to find it she heard someone cry out, "but I helped you! You were trapped and I rescued you!"
She saw a young man facing a large tiger, which snarled and replied, "that was your mistake. I called out for help and you believed me when I said I wouldn't hurt you. I am hungry, therefore, let's not waste any more time."
Behind them, Mary saw a large trap and realized what must have happened. Quickly she grabbed a rose by its stem and tore it from the plant, then she crept around the bush until she was behind the tiger. As quietly as she could she reached forward and pushed the thorny stem into the tiger's hind leg before she leaped back and dropped the rose into the grass by her feet.
The tiger growled and whirled around but before it could pounce she cried out, "Ah! A snake! A venomous snake! It bit you!"
"I don't see a snake," the tiger growled.
"It slithered into that bush," Belle said, pointing to the rose bush, "but I saw it and unless you get the cure, you will die from its venom."
She spoke so seriously that the tiger believed her and its face fell. "I just got out and now I am going to die?"
"No, no!" Mary assured it, you must bathe in the spring on top of the mountain and then you will live."
The tiger was convinced, it sprang forward, disappearing into the darkness toward the only mountain in the area.
"That will take it some time," Mary told the man.
"Thank you for saving me," he replied, "for your help, I will give you anything you wish!"
Mary thought about it, "I only wish for directions so that I can get home and three roses."
The man pointed to the bushes, "I own all of this land and these bushes, you may have as many roses as you like."
He escorted her personally to her home and it turned out he was a prince. Within a short time, he and Mary were married and she and her mother went to live at his castle. Her sisters were not invited.
Author's Note
I used two stories, Three Roses, which is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and The Tiger, The Brahman, and the Jackal, which told the tale of a Brahman who released a tiger and a Jackal which tricked the tiger back into its cage.The Tiger, The Brahman, and the Jackal
Story source: Indian Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs with illustrations by John D. Batten (1912).
The Three Roses
Story source: The Key of Gold by Josef Baudis (1922)
Nice job with your story! I thought you put an interesting spin on things by combing two different tales into one. Specifically, I liked your addition of dialogue. There aren't many spoken lines in the original story, and I thought that your version came to life a little better with your conversations. The last line about the sisters also made me laugh -- I'm glad that they got what was coming to them.
ReplyDeleteWith two sisters who are so selfish and shallow, where does Mary get her personality from? Are these step-sisters or does Mary take after one parent while the other girls take after another? A kind soul like Mary doesn't seem to resemble her siblings and it makes me wonder what sets her apart.
When you write your next story, try breaking it up into paragraphs and playing around with spacing. I think that this may make it easier to read on the screen.
Nice job!
Elyse,
ReplyDeleteI love how the sisters were not invited, haha!! For some odd reason, the sister dynamics remind me of Pride and Prejudice for some reason. Overall, great spin on the original story. It was a joy to read. The only recommendation I would have is to try to make transitions from line to line be smoother/easier on the eyes. Of course, this would work well in a hardcopy of some sort, but it's just more difficult to read when you're having to scroll so much while engrossed in a story. Otherwise, great job!
-Lance J.
Elyse,
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read the story I immediately caught the Tiger, The Brahman and the Jackal because that is the story I wrote about as well! The best part for me was when the girl jabbed the rose thorns into the heel of the tiger. At first I was a bit skeptical about how legitimately the rose would hurt and deter the tiger from taking the life of the prince, but then you played it into a snake bite and it made much more sense! I did have one question though, and it may be that I am just missing it in the story, but why were the sisters not invited? No doubt it is really funny, but I was just wondering what caused it.
Brady J
Hah, I love the twist in the story, and combining the two stories into one! I was expecting to go along the lines of Beauty and the Beast because of the opening, but I wasn’t expecting a tiger to show up like that! I like the fact that you wrote your female character to fix the problem herself, by tricking the tiger into running away. I’m curious, what was the mother sick from? Did she have the flu, or was she just exhausted from the demands of Mary’s sisters? Is Mary the youngest or the oldest? (Honestly I can see either an older or younger sibling ending up in such a caretaker’s position.) And did the sisters manage to do something else that would cause Mary to basically say “Never talk to me again?” Also, I noticed that you accidentally called Mary “Belle” when she’s lying to the tiger about the snake. Just be careful of that in the future, it can cause confusion!
ReplyDeleteHi Elyse,
ReplyDeleteWhat a good twist on the originals! I had read both, so I recognized what happened. In the future, it would nice to read in the author's note what exactly you changed, so that others can understand what your inspiration is. I wondered if the mother ended up okay or mot because it sounds like she was really sick in the beginning. I really like how the man was an actual prince. How ironic! Keep up with the good work.
Hello, Elyse!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story! I am surprised that you were able to skillfully combine multiple stories like that! I remember reading the story of the Three Roses, and I am proud to say that I recognized it before I read the author’s note! I know this is the end for this class, but you should continue nurturing your writing talent elsewhere!